恍悟

i juz realized dat i am workin too much when i found dat i was out of the compound, thus i choose to remove all from facebook , mayb i was too minor to be in the book, hence i hav chosen to be conservative, i appreciate that i know it now before futher humilation. (words that only i know)

happy thing in utar

i found that the happy moment is where i met 3 of them in utar, geh, lag and man, where i can a moment of distress coz i can hav fun with them for some while after attending or goin to attend lecturer class, becoz the little moment make many fun as we see less, the topic we can talk oso more colourful and i can do many wei thing with them and they cannot angry coz not so frequent^^

unexpected broga trip

reach at mu mcd at 3.55 and meet eric, den sit his car begin my journey. 1st time?no la i think to be so brave coz i go hav fun with friend that i not really familiar. why? eric, he is the one who i met for less than 20 times and juz chattin in msn, woah right i give myself, i was a bit unbelivable that i really out with him, quite a experience that is me. i think he oso never expect me that i will say i wan go, that is the point that i dun wan let he has when i felt like i everytime reject his invitation as i scare he will not ask me nex time, and i think he will be a fun ppl to out with as he is that type of person who will enjoy with life, part of my type. so after join his friend, we depart officially at 5 something and reach broga leg at 6am. dark and little little of steep and slip when my shoes grabing land and friction were too out, i felt dangerous sometime, but seriously to say, broga was very safe to climb as no rain fall.sunday was a jam in broga, many cars many ppl where we always get stuck in the way up. i felt a bit energiless when i think i was too long never exposed to exercise, very long and very " chuan", tired still ok.take pictures, walk walk, breath breath, see see, thats all for wat we do on top of hill. down hill was fast around 25 min , we reach land, den go for dimsum in cheras den fetch me back to my car. seriously feel very fun to hav out with new ppl but den a bit not too free that is what i can talk whatever is not dere, as not "sok" with them but luckily his friends were quite nice too^^, after that, head to grandma hse, den my brother drive away myvi and i follow my dad's car to bmw find his new car and den only back home, seriously i am extremly tired but dun dare to voice up that i only slept for half an hour last night where they thought i hav at least 3 hours sleep. nap for only few hours den got up and go sunway hav dinner, sushi, 1st time to my dad with the persuasion of my uncle, rm 260 for our dinner. very tired now, luckily 2moro class late, phew, nightz.

1st time i do out of rule

after watching the semi final match at picadilly of germany vs argentina and i look good at germany, finally it won without hesitation with a result of 4-0, great job of their player, esp goal keeper. geng! den i went home, not a little while, eric ask me want to go broga later, den i was shocked. i wish to go since long time ago juz dun hav the chance, den now is a good chance, but den i feel like reject him coz i promise my family to hav breakfast dimsum togather. when he said"i know what ur answer dy", means that he know that i am goin to reject him, in the context, i feel like i cannot let him hav this kind of feeling, i was undecisive till i off computer, i was still thinkin whether go or not, since it should be a fun and a chance for me go broga.den till 2 am, i was considering whether to sms him i want to go, finally i juz press send and i dun think of the consequences anymore, den i told him to meet him at 3.45 if i manage to get up. of course wake up will not be a problem , juz that i need to use that reason to back up me if i change my mind. den i was unable to get in sleep till 2.30. 3am wake up, to take bath and write a message to my mum about my unexpected and shocked trip. i know i am a bit bad but i will forgive myself as i am goin to be 20, if i still not dare to brave up myself to do some abnormal, i will regret, coz reason if i asked my mum, she sure wont let me go, esp out at 3 am and juz comeback from pj and sleep less than an hour and go to setapak. i did it, i sure do more, if not i will hav a dull teenage-adult life like he, no way! dam sien~my 1st move was succesful ^^

stop stop stop

i hav very strong pressure when stayin at home, yet cannot leave home, why?scare to leave my mum at home, and she felt very sick den i feel so bad as a daughter, pressure because of assigment, when there are 2 asm to do and many tests comin and fsa, math stat, toi and outline for public speakin made me felt dieing fast, feel pressure when ppl ask me to do things that i have bot know and juz suddenly but i like discuss before those matter, feel pressure to out from the hse at night when i scare all the masters question me why i hav to out at night, scare to tell i wanna out clubbin, there is when my fren ask me and i hav to use reason to reject him, pressure because scare all the ppl ask me to how should i take care my mum, how should i comfort her, how should i tell my dad to concern my mum more, how should i hav to companion my mum more, feel pressure when i hav no one to talk to but blog.

as i am a person who cannot withstand too much of pressure, dun wish to think too much of worries, i think i am goin to burst before anyone, i think the one who goin to hav depression, who need to eat medicine is me before anyone.